Thursday, January 28, 2010
i wanna go k!
i wanna go ubin!
i wanna go universal singapore!
there's so many places in singapore i wanna go!
who wanna come along with me? hehe!
vday's coming!
that means love + friendship!
should buy choco for everyone i meet on vday. HAHA
in love with this song
after watching american pie 7 - book of love
during guard duty
SAY YES - Elliot Smith
the lyrics is so nice too!
lyrics is on the previous post!
stayed in 1 week already!
tml is book out! yayness!
im gonna make my new skin when i go out
inspiration please!
i fell in love with the world
through the eyes of a girl
i rant my rants @ 10:52 PM
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
im in love with the world
through the eyes of a girl
who's still around the morning after
we broke up a month ago
when i grew up i didn't know
i'd be around the morning after
it's always been wait and see
a happy day and then you pay
you feel like shit the morning after
now i feel changed around
and instead of falling down
im standing up the morning after
situations get fucked up
turned around sooner or later
i could be another fool
or an exception to the rule
you tell me the morning after
crooked spin can't come to rest
im damaged bad at best
she'll decide what she wants
i'll probably be the last to know
no one says until it shows
see how it is...
they want you or they dont
SAY YES
i'm in love with the world
through the eyes of a girl
who's still around the morning after
absolutely perfect
i rant my rants @ 12:38 AM
Monday, January 25, 2010
i was reading through
STOMP just now
on vday writing contest
and i found this entry seriously nice and heartwarming
click here for full article from stompthe part where the guy do small little sweet things
really made me feel so happy for them
wherever they are in singapore,
you got my blessings (:
the girl is just like many of my friends i know around me
falling in love with bad boys and stuffs
i won't say its bad or wrong
everyone got their road to choose
their freedom of choice
whether to them, their future will be secured
its up to them to decide
so usually i will give my blessings
but also give advices on such relationships
i wouldn't say ending up with me will have good future or so
at least to me someone with a proper education
will be a better choice
so what if you're earning 1.6k a month now as a i [don't know]
(people of our age will go.. WAAA alot lehs)
but 5 years down? 10 years down when you prepare for marriage?
1.6k for a family is definitely not enough in a family
drifting away from the story already..
everyone deserves a second chance
but once they blow the second chance
its over.. the trust will be hard to earn back again
thats why i always ask my friends to hold on
asking them, do they deserve it?
have they done enough from the start to make you give them?
if yes, please do so..
if no, please move on..
simple and easy stuff
just like in the entry
the girl gave the bad boy chances to fall in love
knowing that her past relationships with bad boys seldom work out
its hard i know
i'm trying my best now
not to view your [fill in the blanks] already
your [fill in the blanks]
because i know nothing will get in now
words that you said were no chance
hurtful yes. forceful yes. no sympathy yes. no regards for anything yes.
i understand, you've always been this way
and i know it since the start
no matter how much i do, such words still come to me
no leniency
but i'm always that easy let things pass guy
though yes some stuff i will remember for very long
you made your [fill in the blanks] and i can see
that im not like the others
that you'll give a second chance
all along i know i'm just someone
that [fill in the blanks] when you're [fill in the blanks]
and when you [fill in the blanks]
im just a [fill in the blanks]
after this post..
i'll be having a new blog and everything
memories will stay here
for everyone to see my life
from the very start
all the post that were dedicated
all the happy and sad memories i have
is not enough to amend for something that i feel injust about
for my new blog address
please contact me
emails and stuff may change
because i know if i don't walk away now
i'll never be able to love you in the future again
[yes you laugh abt it, thinking im like a fool,
im just some plain dumbfuck
laugh at me more -yes it hurts but fuck it-
thinking this year plus everything are lies
facebook comments, blog post, sms-es, hangouts
everything was just a front, a fake
laugh at my stupidity, so be it
for i know that the people around me
can see the real me, the real actions
yes you may not trust me
or my words anymore
you may have already gotten someone else (which i got a feeling long ago)
but there's something i know that even if i've lost
i need to say
that is [fill in the blanks]
god knows if im lying about everything]
sore ja.. saiko desu.. maata ne.. watashi no koi desu..
i rant my rants @ 9:06 PM
yes, smoking doesn't help
yes, drinking doesn't help
why am i behaving like when i was still young?
i should have woken up
and realise that such things won't help
now that i know how little [fill in the blanks] there is
i shouldn't [fill in the blanks] [fill in the blanks] anymore
yes, thanks for slapping me in the face
this time, i'm gonna quit smoking for real
no more packets, no more sticks, no more puffs
but i really envy my determination in the past
its confirm stronger than what i have now
so long, so for
thanks bff for showing every single concern you have
thanks qiqi for calling in the middle of the night to check if im okay
(sorry i didn't pick up cos i don't feel like talking)
thanks to so many who are there when i was down
even [fill in the blanks] ain't there when things happen
i'm gonna private my blog soon
no point telling the whole world things
when only 1% of them understand
apply for permission when i really do
for now, guard duty later on
meeting hanx bro weekend for cny shopping
ps: anyone wanna go the universal studio themepark?
depending on who you are, i may treat you :p
a heart never too strong will never put out a fire
i rant my rants @ 11:45 AM
Sunday, January 24, 2010
ok start things afresh
anything below this post is considered rubbish
all comments, hatreds, agreements will be hereby ignored
nothing will be discussed
for everything is history now
something that happens 100 years ago
and i don't have a memory of it
jiayou.. lex (:
i rant my rants @ 3:19 PM
madness freak?
9 strong cups + -
loud beat music
perfect crowd
that kept me going through the night
wasn't a very good afternoon and week i had last week
but was brighten up by my sispec mates
good to see them again
laughing and remembering all the shyt we've been thru
everyone is in their own posting
doing what they have to do
its good to have some meetups
headed down phuture/zouk with my officers and specs
for 2 people's ORD party
regular open drinks and bottles
like free..
indians really can drink
i cant. HAHAHA
they got me drinking and drinking and drinking
until i vomitted
didn't really want to drink till that state
but when they gave me
i just drink i don't know why
but i still can walk and stuff la
vomitted in the club
vomitted under my block
vomitted into my toilet bowl
finally get to sleep
but woken up by the sunlight
crap
ok now let me see 1 more thing i'll address to
to end this stupid fruity thing that is going on
thanks clara (winks) who is the other one
that sms-ed me and asked me about it
thanks for the concern (:
not much people in my life does that
but maybe cos i prefer to stand to my problems myself
and not ask ppl for help
independent? haha. don't know
anyway going on
come on yo! anata, dare desu ka?
a lil' high thinking already eh?
and a lil' low thinking about me eh?
you think i'm on sour grapes and stuff
you can wait (:
since the time you said 'i can't communicate with you'
friends? barely myself
ask arnd i'm not someone who wants an enemy more than a friend
i still cherish everyone i laughed with before
so i ignored but minimise conversations
showing me webcam pics
showing me webcam with whatever going on inside
(come on when you webcam i wasnt even looking =.=)
i was chatting my [her]
ya ya u can go on abt the sms i send and stuff
saying wad replacement and things
get that as an excuse
if you knew
1 1/2 years of [her]
1 year i've been trying to forget
1 year i told different ppl (guys and girls)
to help me
none can none succeded
90% told me the same as u do
and i myself knew it was true
i even told [her] the same thing
imagine all the things out?
what things are you talking about?
i'm just feeling damm funny about why show me stuff
which i don't even care
when you say online friend not even a real friend
uh-huh u said it. so why bother showing me these stuff =.=
i'm too lazy to go into who's right who's wrong
who's winning or who's losing
i'm a very straightforward person
things that i like i will say i like it
things that i don't like i will say in the face
thats how i roll
so lets wrap up these childish merry-go-round thing ya
you go do whatever you want
don't need to 'lex! check my facebook pictures! nice ma? hahahahahahahaha!'
or 'lex im bored! webcam!
no need for such thingys
and no need for sms like 'nights' (which i send to like 10 ppl)
even those long messages are group sms-es
[oh ya. how often i talk on msn to u now also. the most hi and nth more (:]
[so don't think i enjoy it also. like i said, 1 more friend is better than 1 more enemy]
you wanna waste your life away
go ahead. i got mine to live
i'll be taking away everything now ya
so good luck on whatever you got to do now
i still thank god for you coming into my life
though not long
for i believe that everything is fate (:
peace ya ^.^v
btw if i wanted, i have quite a few girls who could help me
still waiting for me to give up on
not that i like to boast abt this
but rather i don't like saying i have girls
make me sound so popular which im not
but there's only 1 girl that i'll be true with
thats [her] (:
to [her]:
1 1/2 long years long
im somewhat disappointed when i received that sms
how many times have i stood by you
at your darkest
and sms-es that you send
are always i'm in the wrong or some disheartening stuff
but i never got angry
i never wanted for i know you're this way
that has become part of my life to accept this reality
telling you don't give up on him myself
and the last sms you sent
that was all you can say to me?
its okay to me how you can hate me
because you should also know
the things you said to me
i never got angry on them even how bad you can put it
how u can scold me
i guess i should put things aside now
you've already choose not to tell me 'someone else'
and thats something i appreciate already
such small stuff is enough for me (:
i don't need big things to come out from you
little things made me smile
like when im in field camp
you sms me in the middle of the night
'nights'
just 1 little word is enough for the day
to show that my name is still there
i've thought over
love isn't just about needing or wanting to be with the person
little gestures are good enough
so i guess we should wrap it up too (:
thanks and sorry about yesterday
must be too drunk. (: your're still light years away from that special girl i seepeace out ppl!
and oh ya changed my first song on blog
to zheng fu by na ying
its a nice song and i keep singing! ^.^
ps2: thanks for blocking and deleting. i did that but msn didn't register =.=
i rant my rants @ 1:58 PM
Saturday, January 23, 2010
and you say you won't
in the end you still did
what's the point of telling me everything
letting me know and stuff
you think i'll be like
'woah! damm sad, damm jealous?'
fuck off from me! tyvm!
thats something for you to suck on
seriously i don't get your point
its your own life you're risking
your own happiness
i don't give a shit on what you're thinking
no need to let me know everything
i told you once
you don't want to heed
thats something you'll end up regretting in the end
for god's sake don't need to let me know/see
whatever you guys are doing
i'm not affected whatsoever
if you think a person like you
can make me forget/change about someone i had for so long
you're wrong
trying to make me sour?
try harder (:
on a lighter note
i'm meeting my sispec buddies later on!
been so long since i last saw them
haha!
ord party at night
hope it'll be a good one
for now..
i'll dream of something which i think
im left with 0.0001%
you ain't even replying me anymore );
at least not like 2 weeks back
when we still had sweet and happy talks
why things always end so fast
just 2 weeks and i fucking miss it
just 2 weeks and im like back to square one
why can't we just progress like how
every other people do
why can't i get closer to you instead of getting further
hahahahahahahahahaha! fml
lex, you seriously suck
can't even do something well
*bang wall die*
i know... im dumb.. im stupid.. nothing more for you to love me
i rant my rants @ 2:41 AM
valentines
Friday, January 22, 2010
holy everything seems so hard!
argh! i'm always afraid of rejections
but if i don't i'll end up alone
for like what 5 years running?!
no way!
even if there is a thousand 'no'
'busy', 'booked'
i must i must !!
but so so so damm hard
im trying im trying
but nothing changes
am i the one you're talking about
am i the one you're thinking?
am i the one you said you'll want to be with?
w zhe y bz, zx qu a n! a w hui.. hm?征服終於你找到一個方式分出了勝負
輸鼓漸N價是彼此粉身碎骨
外表健康的你心裡傷痕無數
頑強的我是這場戰役的俘虜
就這樣被你征服 切斷了所有退路
我的心情是堅固 我的決定是糊塗
就這樣被你征服 喝下你藏好的毒
我的劇情已落幕 我的愛恨已入土
終於我明白倆人要的是一個結束
所有的辯解都讓對方以為是企圖
放一把火燒掉你送我的禮物
卻澆不熄我胸口灼熱的憤怒
你如果經過我的墳墓
你可以雙手合十為我祝福
我的劇情已落幕 我的愛恨已入土
i rant my rants @ 12:09 PM
Thursday, January 21, 2010
the string has broken
the line reached the limit
i know i've done something
i know i did
but it wasn't good enough
just somehow i feel so isolated suddenly
my hands full of bites
a little disgusting
but glad that 1 more is over
6 is the number to go
before i end this monotone life here
can i ever reach out to you
someone so far away still
i don't know how you really feel
how i wish i really do
the hopes i harboured
somehow seems so empty suddenly
the words still linger in my mind
wonder if those words still stand true
i've been reading those words ever since they were sent
at least it made me smile a little
for now, i'll be a happy guy
valentine's coming
but still, everything is a blank!
shall pass each day with a smile
a pat on the back
a resolution to carry out
jiayou.. lex (:
determined on this... this time..
i rant my rants @ 5:24 PM
Sunday, January 17, 2010
ok im going outfield from tml to thurs
so will not see me arnd for a few days
unless i can book out in between
here comes insect bites and pimples ):
its killing me!
contact me via phone ya peepos!
4 days may have many changes in everything
you said it started out as a game
but i'm really scared that it'll end up more than a game
why is it that things can't go the way i want
every time i wanted to have a path to walk
yet nothing comes out of it
i'm trapped and i know you can take me out
from who i used to be
but guess that's not happening right?
if you miss me or if you really have the feelings
i hope you'll sms me
before i sms you..
to tell me that i'm in your heart, in your mind
at least for a little space ):
why why why!
i rant my rants @ 9:33 PM
what should i do?
here to update a little from lan
what am i to do?
i don't know
part of me wants to be selfish
part of me wants to help
a decision that always bother me
in the end i choose to help
sending away the very one i treasure the most
in return i see is tears
hurts to see you like this
knowing the fact but just wanna see you smile
everything will be okay alright girl?
i know you already know the answer to what you are finding
tried so so long yet can't even reach that close
that means he's someone way better than i am
you've already got the answer so go for it
i'll remain that unselfish guy
who will stupidly and silly-ing be here
1 year apart..
i rant my rants @ 5:35 AM
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
still finding someone to shop or gai gai with me later
oh well.. guess i'll be going gai gai-ing alone
somehow i feel alone can be good at times
where you want to walk to
you just walk to
no worries no nothing
yep yep
im gonna walk by myself now!
ciaos!
i swear i swear?
i rant my rants @ 4:28 PM
Monday, January 11, 2010
xt de x ru dg
xy k dan k b c
bzd yg kx h sx
kx yw n kx
sx yw w you sq n le..
yq you yq de
zhen bzd zs cn yy n
lex, n h sb!!!
valentines? maybe not
i rant my rants @ 11:16 PM
Thursday, January 07, 2010
am eating chicken cutlet with a can of coke in ma office now
how pathetic ehs? haha
went bugis and dbs yesterday to settle my stuff
changed my plan to NS plan..
this means unlimited sms-es!
yayness!
changed my card to debit card (after 1 year +)
god dammit and i settled it in like what
20minutes zzzz
thanks
qiqi who accompanied me
when i should be the one accompanying her for the day
was feeling sick but i still walked around la
guard duty later @ 5(FML)
hope this month pass by soon
feb pass by fast too
339days to ORD!
hahahahahaha!
lots of dilemna coming through my mind now
its hard to imagine how far i've come
worried yet telling myself not to
i've got to believe!
i remember i used to joke with my friends
lex is clever, lex is good
lex is a confident young man!
and then i'll start swinging my umbrella and walk like
there's nothing that can stop me
maybe its still goes on this way
but there's just 1 thing that can break everything down
haha!
alright! i'm off to do my present!
freaking hard.. zzz!
don't even know how to start!
but i love challenges!
peace out people!
hope feburary will be a nice one!
xie xie ni gei de ai
i rant my rants @ 3:37 PM
):
i love you too much to say
you know it
god knows it
if there's something i can't lose
that's you
thanks for coming to this earth
no matter how bad things may get
how bad you may get at times
how cold, how far you may be
my answer still the same
and i hope you'll realise that
stepping on a glimmer of hope
i rant my rants @ 1:45 AM
a special story
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
u L x
x uL u
u trying to uL x
u got h, i, j
and h < i < j
i in middle
u little L i
i L u alot
u cant L i
cos u still L x
i will still L u
even if u uL x
and u L h or j or others
i L u
i never change
go figure
好想好想。。好想好想。。好想好想和你在一起。。a very old but nice pic
i rant my rants @ 12:09 AM
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
feeling hot and feeling cold
does the feeling ends so fast
i don't wanna it to end so fast
i'm remaining silent
not wanting to know is the best
everything starts from trust
i'm enjoying every second now
although intuition seldom goes wrong
i wanna be strong
i don't wanna know
i just wanna remember the sms-es and everything
to think that everything is still okay
i want it all hot
just like pancakes!
and i will believe
feburary is something i'm looking forward to now
p.s: i love you
tian tian dou xu yao ni ai
i rant my rants @ 12:34 AM
Monday, January 04, 2010
im happy with what i have now
although i hope that things this time
will be much more certain
and i hope the dark clouds won't come again
if time can be turned
i wanna it faster this time round
to let everything heal
so that i can love you
more each and every day
you're all that i need
you're my everthing
i rant my rants @ 10:17 AM
stupidity
Sunday, January 03, 2010
and i know i know, i must be the stupidest guy on earth
its of super mixed feelings
how much of hate, sadness and little i felt
compared to so much of what people have done
i feel so distant, so useless
inferiority might be the correct word to use
so much i wanted to take the lead
say the command, do the possible
so much i wanted to express myself
but inferiority is the key to failure
and i jolly well know that
what's 1 year compared to a 4 year
i had my 5 year when i was still in high school
but this is a different case
so totally different
its bad enough to hear everything
so much i feel like slapping myself
so much i feel like strangling myself
so freaking insignificant i am
simple stuff like ______ i cant even express it out well
letting people take the lead
what commander i am
wanted to be invinsible
seeing everything right before me
yet nothing i can do
hearing so much things
yet nothing i have done
i feel useless now
if only i could have done more
if only i could have just snatched it away
yet the fact is i'd just be someone
close and someone you'll want to keep as a crying shoulder
an encouraging pillar
so much i wanna take you away just now
but the words just couldn't come out
fearing of disappointment and rejection
i know such chances never come a second time
i wonder when will your sun finally shine for me
and i wonder when will i ever
not be just that someone in your shadows
there's so many things i dreamt about
so many lovely things that i wanna do
yet somehow i know,
its all nothing but a distant dream
if only i couldbut my stupidity ruled me
just bear with the pain to see you off with someone else
when that someone else could be me
i know you're waiting for me to say
yet i couldn't pluck out the courage to hurt someone else
im just another walking stick put by the umbrella shelf
its the stupidity of me
who doesn't have the courage to hold you by the hand
take you away from everyone else
being selfish
being possessive
just the 2 of us
words couldn't fail us
if only you feel the same
if only i'm not that stupid
if only i tried harder
but its all...
sayonara怎麽忍心怪你犯了错
是我给你自由过了火
让你更寂寞
才会陷入感情漩涡
怎麽忍心让你受折磨
是我给你自由过了火
如果你想飞
伤痛我背
i rant my rants @ 11:34 AM